Why I’m Amazed at What My Daughters Have Become

Last year I paid passing tribute to two of my daughters’ first Mother’s Day without going into detail. For those of us who are privileged to get to the place in life (and it is a great privilege that I hope I never take for granted—no one should) where we get to see our kids being parents, well, as they say, it is a very happy place. Mostly.

When it’s time for me to go to bed and they’re visiting or I’m at their house, I can just go to bed and not worry about having to get up for them.

I’ve hinted here and there about a few wrinkles my daughters encountered with their newborns—their nursing difficulties, sleepless nights, concerns about progress: of these there have been plenty. But now they’re fortunate that their boys, ages 16 and 18 months, usually sleep through the night, in their own cribs, and are able to put themselves to sleep (yes, after somewhat longish routines of reading books, sippy cup milk, brushing teeth, etc.).

I wish we lived much closer, but we’ve been able to see each other fairly often, considering the two- and five-hour drives. At least the grandchildren are not in California or New Zealand.

So, from a distance (remember, I’m not privileged/saddled with the work of either raising them or providing daycare) here is why I’m just blown away this Mother’s Day.

1. After raising three little girls, I get to experience what little boys are like! I don’t know why, but I used to be partial to little boys, such as when I taught children in Bible school and Sunday school. Now I have a more balanced view that little girls are very special too. I am just as smitten with little girls as boys, if I can say it that way. They are all adorable and just so very cute.
2. My daughters are very excellent mothers. While I know they learned some things from me, I know they comb the Web looking for wisdom, solidarity, feedback, and advice. They have also learned that you can always find contrasting and opposing opinions and facts on any topic online, so they have to filter the information, and still use their own best instincts and judgement. They check in with friends.
3. My daughters are married to very excellent fathers. Today’s fathers, I have to say, are so much more involved than their own father was in the early stages. I doubt that I’m alone in observing and experiencing that. My sons-in-law were in there from hour one: changing dirty diapers, doing supplemental feedings as needed, washing and folding diapers, worrying over schedules, meals, developmental phases, doctors—all of it. And, they’ve been a good balance for their spouses on when not to worry or overreact.
4. These two boys barely look anything like their infant pictures anymore, and indeed are becoming real little boys. Too soon I’ll have to write men there, so I’m trying to absorb this wonderful stage when their moms get excited about new words and attempts at pulling off socks, or trying to pull up socks, and helping cook dinner.
5. The mothers turn to us for counsel and consolation, even if there is not much we can do from a distance, other than recognizing that sometimes they just need a listening ear.
6. They are so in love with their little boys, doting on them, dressing them up in cute outfits, taking strolls in the neighborhood, getting involved in hunting Easter eggs, helping them participate in worship services at their respective churches, and dashing off a quick text or email with a photo of their latest feats.
7. They and their husbands put a great deal of emphasis on reading books to the boys and leaving the TV and digital screens until they’re a bit older.
8. When it’s time for me to go to bed and they’re visiting or I’m at their house, I can just go to bed and not worry about having to get up for them!
9. That these little miracles—and I believe every child is—are ours to have and to hold.
10. That one of these days they will manage to coax out of their boys the words we long to hear: Grandma. Grandpa. (Or something approximating those names.)

And if my youngest daughter ever gets the chance to become a mother, I have no doubt she will be just as dedicated and spectacular.

Happy, happy Mother’s Day, Michelle and Tanya.

What are the things you’ve enjoyed observing as your children take up parenting? Or, what have you learned from your mother or father?

Comment on the website, write to me at Another Way, 1251 Virginia Ave., Harrisonburg, VA 22802, or email me at MelodieD@MennoMedia.org. You can also request a free booklet, Keeping Family First: A Kids’s Guide, written for children.